“A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step.”
I think back on that moment, when I made the decision: I’m gonna travel around the world. I woke up that sunday morning and had the feeling something had been changed. Yes, indeed: I stopped telling myself “one day I will..”. It was “if not now, then never!”.
I guess one needs a certain mindset, to make this kind of a decision just like that, within a moment. I mean I don’t know many people even playing with this idea on regular basis. Neither I was playing. It was not the decision itself, but the fact that it happened quickly and it felt natural to accept the idea of traveling the the world all alone in the nearest future.
The “I’m gonna do it no matter what” part didn’t seem to put me under pressure at all. In fact I felt very relieved and charged up, once I accepted this plan as a part of my new reality. I registered that moment as the beginning of my around the world journey.
To understand my state of mind, we should get back to the time before that Sunday morning: basically I was confused and miserable. I was exhausted by questions constantly popping up in my mind. I questioned my professional life. I was totally overworked, on the other hand I had many other reasons to be happy with my job. I questioned my private life, although I was absolutely convinced of the decisions I made. I questioned my current lifestyle, my future plans, my past actions – I questioned my questions. That confusion found its nasty expression in chronic migraine attacks. Within few months I ended up being physically and mentally exhausted, and almost depending on painkillers.
God! How could I go that far?
What was I doing wrong? Why am I so lost in myself? How am I going to break that circle and stop live killing migraine? I was in panic. I remembered myself being a self confident person, who would figure out what must be done next. Being disciplined and dutiful, I knew how to keep calm and work hard on my goals. The “must be done” approach helped to focus and keep going. That worked pretty well for me so far. Apparently not anymore. I started questioning my functioning concept. Perhaps the reason was that I couldn’t recall a moment, when I honestly asked myself what I wish to be done next. What if it is time to replace that very rational “must” by the craziest wish of mine – a wish that qualifies as a dream? What if it’s not crazy at all? What if it’s the key and traveling around the world is not that impossible? Perhaps, like any other task, it can be (easily) solved, if you break it into smaller tasks.
“I’ll take a step at a time” – sounded like a great plan to me!
For all of sudden I got a clear mind, although that bold venture of mine involved a certain level of complexity. I got immediately a bunch of new questions popped up in my mind. How am I gonna deal with my job? And what about my home here in Frankfurt? Can I afford a trip like this?? Should or can I travel alone? When and how long should I travel? Am I gonna be back? If yes, how is it gonna feel like? Can I quit this idea? Yeah, these and many other questions occupied my mind. However I was not stressed, but felt full of energy. It was time to focus and think. I got a new goal now, it was time to work on it – time to figure out what must be done next.